Fitting Nowhere, Belonging Everywhere

Reflections on International Women's Day and the Power of Taking Up Space

I had the utmost pleasure of being invited to speak at the Allbright Women’s Summit in London this week. There were lots of different panel sessions throughout the day covering entrepreneurship, investment, finance, etc., but I was asked to be on the ‘Women with Bold Visions’ panel—right up my street!

When women come together, the energy is always magnetic, but get hundreds of women together who are actively celebrating and affirming each other, and you experience something very special.

We talked in depth about what it means to have a bold vision and how, for some, it’s a public thing, and for others, a bold move means going against the flow, speaking out, or swimming upstream.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, ‘How did I end up here?’ you’re not alone. The boldest move you can make is to recognise when a path isn’t right and have the courage to change course. We all need to be bold at different times in our lives, and it’s through knowing who we are that we can properly navigate these challenges.

We also discussed the concept of authenticity and how, while it’s become quite commodified as a term, it’s actually a vital part of finding fulfilment.

I was blown away by the reaction afterwards. So many women came up to me saying they’d been moved to tears, that they related completely to the concept of finding their space and yet struggle to do it on a daily basis.

I think this message resonates because we are conditioned to fit in, to adapt, and to take up less space. So often, we have an internal battle of either being too much or not enough, and it’s exhausting!

You were born an original, but 90% of us will die a copy

…not because we we lack uniqueness, but because we’ve been trained to trade it for belonging. And did you know life is HARDER when you’re trying to be a copy? When you’re living in line with what matters to you, what interests you and what YOU want to be doing, you are energised and inspired. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

We all have our own paths and successes to celebrate. Don’t deny yourself that joy. And even when things are tough, when you’re in line with what matters to you, there’s a power inside that keeps you going.

If you find yourself saying ‘I should…’ or comparing yourself to where someone else is in their life and thinking you need to be there too, you’re not listening to that still voice inside. The exhaustion of trying to fit into the wrong spaces is what leads to burnout, dissatisfaction, and feeling completely disconnected. So why would you?

Don’t wait for permission

The theme of International Women’s Day is Accelerate Action. So, what if the most radical action you could take isn’t just external, isn’t something you can post about but instead is something just for you? Something personal, that reclaims your space, your choices, and your joy?

It takes courage to do things for ourselves when we’ve been conditioned to be there for everyone else. We end up waiting for permission or waiting to feel 'ready' …(you’ll never feel ready!). Your space is waiting for you. The only thing missing is you stepping into it.

A world where everyone fits is a world where no one shrinks

And you know the other wonderful thing about this? When we realise there’s a space for us, we also realise that everyone else has their space, too. There’s room for everyone, and when we lift each other up, we connect, we grow, we love, we share, and we trust. We experience all these wonderful elements of connection, which ultimately form the human experience.

Take your space

So, no more trying to twist yourself into a shape that isn’t yours. You don’t have to wait for someone to offer you a space because the world already has a place that is perfectly shaped for you. Your job isn’t to change who you are—it’s to claim what was always yours. The paradox of authenticity is to be ourselves, but to also allow ourselves to grow and change. So, grow into your space, the one that only you can fill.

I had so many conversations with women yesterday about this, and it really was an absolute delight to be there. If you resonate with any of the above, please feel free to comment and/or perhaps share this with another woman who might need to hear it today.

In the meantime, I hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy this glorious sunshine!