Sardines for Breakfast..

..and lots of sex!

Growing up in the seventies could partly be defined by the foods we ate. Sardines in tomato sauce smooshed out of a tin and straight onto hot buttered toast is one of the finer food memories I have, alongside boiled eggs for supper on a Sunday served with toast cut into soldiers, and my favourite birthday meal was corn on the cob - I’d get two if I was lucky. They were the entire meal. And once I’d eaten the corn, I’d add more butter and suck that off until the husk was cold and the butter could no longer melt, so really, it was more a meal of butter than it was of corn.

But this isn’t about that. My friend Jane works in a local cafe, and last week, one of the usually quiet and reserved regulars shared a rather surprising tip.

Photo by Guido Jansen on Unsplash

We live in a farming town, and there’s a real mix of people in wellies, wax jackets, and flat caps alongside those more smartly dressed. This regular is one of the latter. The town is small enough for regulars, it’s one of the things that makes it so magical. That and its little square that’s not populated by the familiar chain stores that you see in most towns these days. Instead, it’s mainly local businesses, other than the bank and the co-op, outside which a group of old farmer-like men stand outside every morning, leaning on the window of the estate agents next door, having their catch-up for the day while assessing everyone’s parking as they dash in and out.

Our town is also small enough to have not been noticed by the Costas, Starbucks or Neros, instead, we have a number of welcoming independent cafes which we love. Jane works in one of those. One morning last week, she was taking this customer’s order, making a little friendly chat, enough to make her feel welcome, but not too much. She is dressed stylishly, walks with a stick and wears just enough make-up to look polished, but not preened.

Another customer came in and stood in line, perhaps after dropping her kids at school. She launched a full conversation onto both Jane and the older woman: weather, kids, work—all the usual—and wrapped up with a comment directed at the older woman.

‘You always look amazing’, she said, possibly hoping for a compliment in return, possibly comparing her more frayed self to the elegance personified she relished in front of her. The older woman smiled as she turned to walk toward her table and said:

‘Sardines for breakfast and lots of sex’

Jane followed, stifling a giggle, holding the coffee and cake. The talkative one was lost for words, perhaps disgruntled at not getting a compliment in return, perhaps adding sardines to her mental shopping list.

It did get me thinking, though!

Last night, I finally gave cold water ‘swimming’ a go (I dipped!). A wonderful ‘Wild Sauna’ has opened recently near us. It was Jane who discovered it, so five of us booked ourselves in and took turns running out of the sauna and into the river or the even colder bathtub, which was sprinkled with petals.

There’s increasing evidence that cold-water swimming is good for you as you get older and can even delay the onset of Alzheimer’s. I am someone who would much rather be too hot than too cold, which is why it’s taken me so long to give dipping a go. Better late than never, though, right?

I ‘m trying to be less busy with work these days and balance it more with friendship and fun

I find it interesting to see how my priorities change as I go through life. The five of us who went to the Wild Sauna last night are part of a group we’ve formed over the last few years that now regularly walk together and take dance lessons together. When I turned 50, I decided to be more intentional about investing in friendships that matter rather than just being busy - it’s so easy to just ‘be busy’ isn’t it? It started when I heard about this fascinating piece of research stating that the quality of life in your 80s depends on the quality of friends in your 50s…

…and putting it into action is so much fun!!

So, as part of the Midlife MOT that I wrote about recently, as well as nurturing friendship and fitness, I think I might just need to add sardines, lots of sex, and chilly dipping to the list!

Let’s see how the pension advisor includes that on his spreadsheet :)