Stop Searching For Happiness

and follow curiosity instead.

While driving down the M40 to London earlier this week, I noticed sheep in one of the fields on my right-hand side. At the back of their field were piles of red bricks and an ivory mound of stony rubble. I had to look twice to confirm that I saw what I thought I did. One sheep was standing on top of the ivory mound and she would have blended in completely if her head was down, but instead, she was standing proud, head up, looking into the distance.

Photo by Dibya Jyoti Ghosh on Unsplash

This isn’t the actual moment - there are no mountains by the M40, for starters, and as I was driving, I obviously couldn’t take a snap. The other sheep weren’t as close as in this picture, either. Instead, they were dotted around the field, grazing on the luscious grass. We’ve had so much rain, and recently, the sun has begun to warm things up, so the grass will be sweet and delicious. For grass-eating animals, anyway. So as a sheep, why would you be doing anything other than eating?

This one, however, had clearly decided to take his or herself elsewhere. Rather than filling her belly, she was on a mission of discovery. Rather than looking down, she was looking up and out, at the world around her and beyond.

It dawned on me that she was the only sheep who had climbed that pile of rubble. She was no different from the others, neither specially gifted nor lucky, and it reminded me of this post I’d seen recently.

runningwithaidan

A post shared by @runningwithaidan

Sometimes, we prefer to think others are lucky and that, therefore, whatever they’ve achieved is not down to skill, determination, or years of toil. It’s like a personal get-out card that justifies us not pushing ourselves a little harder. By saying they are lucky, we are undermining what they put in to get where they are and reinforcing that unhelpful voice inside our head that says luck is what we need, and we just haven’t had ours yet.

But the reality isn’t that; even when luck presents itself, you’ve still got to be able to recognise the opportunity and embrace it. In fact, even if luck crosses our path, we’ve still stepped onto that path at some stage so you could argue that it was never luck anyway. But if we never step onto that path, or climb the mound, or push the door, or make the call, Opportunity has an even slimmer chance of presenting itself. We create our own luck and opportunities when we begin making changes, and when we choose to do things differently. Ultimately, it always comes down to choice.

This sheep chose differently from the others; she was following her curiosity and wanted to see what was on the top of that rickety mound rather than doing the same old chewing of the grass that she could do any time, any day. Maybe she realised the grass would still be there, but the mound might get moved, so she’d better take advantage of it while she could. After all, opportunities for change don’t always hang around. Even worse, what if time moves on and she doesn’t?

She fancied doing something different, so she did something differently

How many times do we moan about feeling stuck or not achieving what we want to in life, but then we fall back in line and don’t do anything about it? How many times do we wish things were different and yet don’t even lift our heads to look for what that could be?

Stop Searching for Happiness and Follow Curiosity Instead

I joined two thousand other women (more like one thousand nine hundred and ninety-two women, and eight men) last week at The Barbican to see the wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love and many other brilliant books, including Big Magic, about embracing fear and doing it anyway.

One of the things I’ve heard Liz touch on over the years is the importance of curiosity. People are so hell-bent on finding happiness, but it’s like searching for the gold at the end of the rainbow. If we follow our curiosity, happiness often sneaks in through the back door. I’ve found that to be true time and time again.

And yet, we insist on overcomplicating it! I’ve been amazed at how much joy getting out on my bicycle has brought to me and how alive just being out on two wheels makes me feel. One month ago, the London to Brighton hadn’t even crossed my mind; in fact, going down the road hadn’t even crossed my mind. Three weeks ago, I thought it was a ridiculous whim. Last weekend, I cycled 35km and got a medal for finishing a race—curiosity started that, and happiness appears right in the midst of it all.

So, if we want something to change in our life, doing the same old same old, is highly unlikely to help. We need to be curious. We need to find the dusty mound, hunt it down, and walk right up. When we change our view, the realm of possibilities suddenly transforms - but we have to take the first step, and then the next, and then the next.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

You only need to change one thing at a time—just one thing. It really is that simple. It doesn’t make sense to complain about something not being right if we aren’t up for changing it.

It comes down to curiosity and choice, with a slither of bravery and willpower. When you do that, you will find an opportunity for change. I read Screw It, Let’s Do It by Richard Branson a long time ago now. His story is inspirational, and it helped me realise that if I don’t do the things I want to do, no one is going to do them for me. Did you know he started growing and selling Christmas trees as a child as a way to make money? And the title of this book stems from when he was on holiday in Majorca, I think, and the airline they were flying home on went bust as they were checking in for their return flight. While everyone tore their hair out and got stressed about being left in the lurch, he figured out how to charter a plane and get them all back. And that became the seed for Virgin Atlantic. No luck involved, just determination, curiosity and willpower.

So if there’s something that’s bugging you, that’s not working, that you’d like to change, or that doesn’t feel right, take a look and see how you can make it different. What do you have to lose? More excitingly, what do you have to gain?

Love first - and give yourself a chance!!

Pipa x

PS, Please feel free to leave a comment or start a conversation below

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